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News
SNAP Enrollment Drops By Over 13%
2+ hour, 5+ min ago (91+ words) Friday, August 28, 2026 Stricter work requirements enacted in the Big Beautiful Bill have caused enrollment in the SNAP food assistance program to plummet over 13% over the past year as provisions kick in. What do you think? “If they want food so…...
New DNC Fundraising Email Urges Voters To Find Something Better To Do With Their Money
3+ week, 20+ hour ago (268+ words) WASHINGTON—Pleading with recipients to use their hard-earned cash more productively, a Democratic National Committee fundraising email sent out Thursday urged voters to find something better to do with their money. “There are so many incredible things you can put…...
Straggler Cicadas To Appear
4+ mon, 1+ week ago (98+ words) Just had to have your little "outdoor wedding" without a tent, didn't you? Cicadas referred to as “stragglers” because they emerge off-cycle may appear this year despite their broods not being expected to emerge, with scientists unsure how they lose…...
FBI Announces They Have Located Savannah Guthrie
6+ mon, 2+ week ago (286+ words) WASHINGTON—Praising the tireless efforts of the hundreds of agents who worked around the clock on the case, FBI director Kash Patel announced Friday that after almost two anguishing weeks, Savannah Guthrie had at last been located. “This morning before…...
Child’s Blow Into Car Breathalyzer Rewarded With Dicey Trip To Ice Cream Shop
7+ mon, 2+ week ago (282+ words) MILWAUKEE—After instructing his 5-year-old son to imagine a bunch of birthday candles at the other end of the tube, local dad Rick Cerney, 41, reportedly rewarded the child’s blow into his car Breathalyzer Monday with a dicey trip to an…...
Congress Allocates $45 Million To Hang Fairy Lights Along U.S. Border
8+ mon, 1+ week ago (267+ words) WASHINGTON—Citing an urgent need to spruce up the country’s drab perimeter, Congress allocated $45 million Tuesday to hang fairy lights along the U.S. border. “This funding will go a long way toward making our great nation even cozier,” said…...
Judge Resigns After Wearing Elvis Wig In Court
8+ mon, 3+ week ago (92+ words) Our Miserable World At An Unbeatable Price Black Friday Sale. Get The Paper. Tuesday, December 2, 2025 A judge in Missouri resigned after wearing an Elvis Presley wig in court, coming after a disciplinary commission determined he failed to maintain order and…...